The Devil, Five of Pentacles, and King of Cups
These things take time. People only have so much space, time, and effort. If you want to work on yourself, at least initially, you’ll have to pull back from others.
The Devil is where you were. Again, I love Lubanko’s version of this card. Not quite the standard RWS Devil, but it’s close enough. Has a bit of a Frank Frazetta vibe, if I’m honest. I think the chains are one of the most important symbols of the Devil, as it shows escape is often (and easily) possible. You just have to see through the illusion.
And that is what you did.
You are here now, at the Five of Pentacles reversed (by Ira Kozlovska from Wyspell’s Starlight Tarot). Upright, the Five can mean that someone is actively ignoring the help they need. The lost are portrayed outside a gothic window: inside there is myrth, food, or at the very least, light. It’s right there. They could reach out and ask for help, but they don’t. Who knows why? It could be the institution’s problem, or it could be those lost. Thankfully, this card is reversed. In this case, the card means the opposite, and says that you have discovered what you need to help you out of the Devil’s illusion. Just be careful on your journey. The card after the Devil in the Major Arcana is The Tower, and we all know how that goes.
There are always costs to every choice, and that’s the problem. Even not choosing has a cost. And in this case, if you are going to take the path out of illusion, it will cost you some of your emotional energy. All worthwhile endeavors do this: questing ain’t easy. For a while, you will not have the emotional space the King of Cups (from the Pride Tarot, card by Catrin Welz-Stein) demands you hold for people. That might not sound so bad, but it is a real cost. The people you hold emotional space for are often your closest friends and allies. The people you call when you need help.
That’s the sting of working on yourself: you can’t always be there for those who would call on you. You want to, but you can’t. That’s real pain, for you and them. This is not an excuse. Nor is it permission to act like an ass. Yes, you need the energy for yourself, but be sure to hold some emotional space for people; don’t cut them off completely. You will emerge in a better place, where you can get back in the game of holding space.
